I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
