i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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