fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
