I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
