What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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