You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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