Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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