Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize