I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
