I want to stick my p in your. b.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
