Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
