oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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