His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
