i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
