I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
