Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
