Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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