Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
