And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
