this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
