i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
