It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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