I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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