what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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