My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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