Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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