i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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