I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
