She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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