I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
