There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
