Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
