It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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