i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its not stalking. its research.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
