It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
