All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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