shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
