Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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