I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
