First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
