im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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