I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
