whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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