well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
