either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
