Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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