Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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