I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
