I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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