You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
