She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
